The Clearing
Last year, on my 23rd birthday, I gifted myself my new life. I spent a week in the Appalachian Mountains in a tiny cabin, creating myself again. On 7/16/2024 I sat and wrote and photographed and cried and laughed and remembered fondly the life that had brought me to this tiny cabin. On 7/17/24 I shared those words with you; along with this website that has been a lovely home for my work thus far.
My best work is the work that spews out of me with great passion and force; like when a river is released from the Earth that contains it. It is the work that reminds me that I am not at all the one in control; that I am a continuance of the stories of my personal and ancestral past. Through this work I am instructed forward with complete clarity and without negotiation.
Jumping ahead almost one full year later, I can say confidently that I could not have written this story any better than the Creator himself. I was told last July who I would be today, and I am proof of the clarity of that knowledge that my Self could see. Since then, my table has been full. I say ‘Come, eat!’ to any and every person in need of sustenance. I open my garden to all life, knowing that what God has given me is meant to be shared. My table is full because I am meant to be a reSource to this Earth and this Humanity.
I felt for so long that I was the one in need; that I would never be able to feed others while so much of my own spirit starved. I needed healing, so over the years I learned to make my own medicine. I take my medicine every time I write or read something new, every time I open myself to others, cook a meal, remember my pain and my past and my story; the Spiritual Wound binds itself (me) back together. My Medicine has brought lushness to the most barren lands in my body, and I have enjoyed much fruit over this past year.
The sweetness of this life has graced me: I traveled last year to places that cracked me wide open, I filled many journals, met new friends, and said goodbye to old ones. I welcomed myself into my Womanhood and became a Mother to my work. Recently I have opened up my new business STUDIO BLU; which has been a Self-shattering process over the past few months.
The Clearing of this last year has brought forward a version of myself that has so much to Teach. She is so wise and knowing; and her voice is the one that eases me now when I am fearful. To place myself in a position to be seen + heard + received has been incredibly triggering and terrifying for me; as someone who likes to reside in my isolation shell. I spend much time building a rich inner landscape for myself, which is why I really do not mind (and actually prefer) my own company. Now, I am being instructed to let the World in; which obviously feels a little violating.
Something I think about to help me feel less vulnerable during this time, is my relationship with my God. Through all of my successes this past year, I was also given a formula for how to properly celebrate my wins. This work is only a by-product of my communion with God. I create because I wish to know my Creator; because He has pleased me with this life and I wish only to please Him. He has given me a beautiful Self; full of creativity, love, passion, wisdom, humor, intelligence, and humanity; and through my work I seek a place of transparent bliss where We can be together again. The love a Mother has for her Child is only a small fraction of the Love that God has for his own Creations. This Divine Love is at the center of my Universe and it propels me every day to be who I am.
Please, come eat at my table; God has made this life so abundant for me and it only feels right to share it. I have my own table-for-two behind the veil; where God and I celebrate together before anyone else arrives. I am absolutely satisfied through this work, to be this Self is the highest blessing of all. To please myself and my Creator is beyond any success imaginable. This work is like food and drink to me; it nourishes me in ways that only Divine Love can. I am honestly blessed for this Clearing over my life this past year, and am so looking forward to sharing more of my medicine with you.
With Purpose and Gratitude,
